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Do you ever feel like your story’s on an endless loop? You’re craving a new tune, yet the same refrain keeps playing. Many of my clients believe that if they could figure out why they’re stuck, they’d finally be able to break the cycle. But knowing “why” often just amplifies the noise, making the repetition louder and more challenging to ignore. Knowing is not enough.
What really helps is knowing why not to keep doing it—and uncovering fresh alternatives. For example, take my wildly disorganized workspace (picture a sea of papers, post-its, and more). I know exactly “why” I let this chaos continue: I tell myself I’m too busy hunting for that brilliant idea I scribbled on a pink post-it and tucked away somewhere between a stack of notebooks. I convince myself there’s no time to rethink this system because “busy” is always lurking in the background.
The truth is, change isn’t just about knowing what led to our current mess; it’s about deciding what’s worth doing that we cannot accomplish while stuck in repeat mode. Many, including myself, wait until we’re heading straight for derailment before finally considering a new approach. But as I look around my cluttered office while writing this, a thought pops up: What if this train doesn’t make it back on track? That’s when I realize I’m ready to get off this repeat rodeo and steer toward something better.
If you’re ready to do the same, here are some questions to help you get unstuck. These are the same ones I ask myself and my clients to help navigate the way forward:
What experience is out of reach, and you want it so bad that you are willing to figure out how to make it a reality?
What events trigger your repeat patterns and keep the experience you describe at bay?
What expectations do you hold about these events?
What expectations do you have of yourself in relation to these events?
How do these expectations shape your conclusions about yourself or the situation?
What story do you tell yourself based on those conclusions?
How does that story drive your behavior?
Reflecting on what you want to experience, what kind of person (identity) prioritizes those experiences? How do they show up?
What story do they tell themselves about the future waiting for them?
What story does that person believe about themselves?
When faced with those same events, how do their expectations shift? For what reasons?
What does your future self conclude if those expectations aren’t met?
How do your responses to these questions shape your actions?
These questions are designed to help you get off repeat and write a new, more fulfilling tune for your life. Ready to switch tracks?
And, if you are seeking more:
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