Who's Drinking with Your Dream?

Yesterday, while teaching one of our Advanced Narrative Coaching Certification courses, I read a story that I really wish I could claim as my own. But alas, the storytelling gods passed me by on this one. Don’t worry, I’ll link to it so the rightful owner gets their well-earned credit.

The story goes like this: courage, vulnerability, and fear walk into a bar. (I know, sounds like the setup to a bad joke, right? Stick with me.) As I read it, I started thinking about how personifying our emotions—giving them names, faces, and personalities—can be such a game-changer. When we push them just far enough away to observe, suddenly, their antics become crystal clear. And trust me, emotions have plenty of antics.

Once at arm’s length, you start to notice the tricks they use to grab your attention and steer you off course. But here’s the kicker—are these emotions really the villains we make them out to be? I don’t think so. The real problem is that most of us are still using the emotional decoder rings we built as kids—yes, those clunky, outdated tools we cobbled together with half-baked, underdeveloped brains. And yet, we treat those old decoders like they’re the latest tech straight out of SpaceX. Spoiler alert: they’re not.

The good news? You can totally upgrade your emotional tech.

Here’s How to Upgrade:

1. Spot Who’s Buying Your Dream a Drink.

   • Is it fear, sidling up with a “let me keep you safe” martini that actually locks you in place?

   • Or maybe vulnerability, offering a shot of “let’s stay small and avoid risk”?

   • Pay attention to who’s pulling up a barstool and what their intentions are.

2. Ask What Their Angle Is.

   • What’s courage saying? (Hint: it’s that steady, encouraging voice telling you to take the leap.)

   • What’s fear shouting in that loud, panicked tone that drowns out the conversation passion’s trying to have with you?

   • And here’s the twist: what messages have they been trying to send that you’ve misinterpreted because you’ve always heard them the same old way?

3. Decide Who Gets to Stay at the Table.

   • Not every emotion deserves an invite to the after-party. Fear and doubt might crash the gathering, but that doesn’t mean they get a seat of honor. Escort them out, politely but firmly.

So, next time it feels like your emotions are calling the shots, take a step back and ask yourself: Who’s drinking with my dream? Then, gently but firmly show the uninvited guests to the door. Your dream deserves a crowd that cheers it on, not one that holds it back.

Cheers to upgrading your emotional toolkit and choosing a better crowd for your dreams!